Reconnecting with Yourself After Motherhood in 5 Steps

Mama, I want to tell you that motherhood is a beautiful, life-changing experience. But let's be honest, it can also feel like you've lost a part of yourself between the sleepless nights and the endless snack requests. With the daily juggle of responsibilities, it's easy to forget the woman you were before you became a mom.

There may be days that you struggle with this shift from becoming a mom and the woman you used to be. The days now revolve around caring for others, leaving little time for yourself, interests, dreams, and passions. These may get put on the back burner. You may also feel the pressure to always be there for your family, making having any personal time feel like a selfish act. You are the one who is always doing everything, or at least that's the pressure you feel for everything to be there. But here's the truth: you are still you and allowed to evolve while still holding on to parts of yourself that make you feel alive.

If you've been feeling this disconnect, here are a few simple steps to help you rediscover your passions, hobbies, and purpose. Let’s explore five steps that you can take to rediscover those passions, hobbies, and purpose because you, Mama, deserve to live your best life. You deserve to be the mom you want to be and the woman you want to be outside of motherhood.

Step 1: Acknowledge That You've Changed (And That’s Okay!)

The woman you were before motherhood is not lost. She is simply transformed. Instead of mourning the past version of yourself, embrace the growth and wisdom that come with motherhood.

When I first became a mom, I was so excited to be the mama to a sweet little girl. It took a few months to realize that I had wrapped my identity all in just becoming a mama—only mama. It took even longer to realize that I wanted more than just to be mama and that my daughter deserved to see me be more than mama. As time has passed, my little one is growing, and I have started to find who I am outside of motherhood again.

Action Step: Reflect on how you've grown since becoming a mom. Write down three ways you've changed for the better. Maybe it's prioritizing your health by going for walks with your baby. Maybe it's reading during nap time. Whatever it is, embrace that you are evolving, and that's okay.

Step 2: Identify What Lit You Up Before Kids

What did you love doing before motherhood? Was it reading, painting, traveling, dancing, or working on passion projects? These things don't have to disappear just because you're a mom now. You can find ways to integrate them into your life.

Before I had Little Miss, I loved going to coffee shops, being with people, teaching, reading, and learning. So, I decided to start reading again in small increments. I started going for coffee with my daughter and friends. These small actions helped me slowly regain who I was before motherhood.

Action Step: Make a list of 3-5 things that bring you joy. Choose one and schedule time this week to do it, even if it's just 10 minutes.

Step 3: Create Small Moments Just for You

Self-care doesn't have to mean long spa days or expensive trips. It can be as simple as enjoying a quiet cup of coffee, journaling, or taking a solo walk. Prioritizing these moments helps you feel more connected to yourself.

I have started this recently as my daughter is getting closer to two. It makes me feel like me again. I get up earlier than her, usually an hour. Sometimes, she wakes up at the same time I do, but I just work with that because that's what motherhood is—you work with what you have and do the best you can. But I get up, do daily devotions, connect with God, and then start my self-care with exercise and reading a self-help or development book.

Action Step: Pick one small self-care habit and commit to doing it daily for the next week. If self-care right now looks like taking a shower or washing your face, that’s okay too! Just choose something that nourishes you.

Step 4: Set Goals Beyond Motherhood

Motherhood is fulfilling, but you are allowed to dream and grow outside of it. Whether it’s learning a new skill, launching a business, or revisiting an old passion—give yourself permission to set personal goals.

I have seen this in my own life. Motherhood was so fulfilling, but it became all that I was. I didn’t know who I was outside of motherhood anymore. I didn’t like that, and I didn’t want to be that example to my daughter. I wanted to be the example of an independent, strong, God-fearing woman who loves others. So, I set aside my fears, my doubts, and others' opinions. I jumped feet first and slowly started building my personal goals, which have now grown into the business you see today.

Action Step: Write down one personal goal—big or small—that excites you. Take the first step toward making it happen today.

Step 5: Find a Support System

Reconnecting with yourself doesn’t mean doing it alone. Surround yourself with uplifting people who inspire you, whether it is supportive friends, fellow moms, or an online community. Find your people, Mama! It will make the journey of motherhood so much more fulfilling than walking alone.

At first, I started spending 2 hours by myself or with friends to start that support process. It was either going to coffee, making goals, reading, or meeting people at coffee shops. That helped my motherhood journey—and still does. I am rediscovering who I am through the friendships I cultivate.

Action Step: Contact a friend or join a group that aligns with your interest. A little encouragement goes a long way, and finding understanding in your season of life is truly uplifting.

Mama, you are not just a mom. You are a woman with dreams, passions, and a unique purpose! It’s time to reconnect with yourself and embrace the journey of rediscovering who you are beyond motherhood.

What’s one small step you can take today to reconnect with yourself? Drop it in the comments or share this with another mama who needs the reminder. 💛